I really really have to thank God,
I felt God has gradually melted the stereotype and bitterness and fear towards life in japan away, especially the part about Japanese people.
When i first got here, without being able to speak japanese and slash some cultural shock and differences, and hanging out with party people, drinking all the time, and dont know how to control myself and thought what i enjoyed was too fun. Going through a few trials and struggle with various stuff, i was really afraid when i was coming back to Tokyo again, but i really have to say, God has gradually changing the image of japanese people in my heart through changing what draws to me first, i no longer party rock athem, but i am still super hyper and drunk on holy spirit, and now i know how to use my free spirit not just on party occasions, but treat ppl genuinely because i want to be like jesus. And then i started to discover heaps of good things about japanese people, it is not like the image drastically changed, but God really put a lot of awesome people that loves me genuinely here in japan, which always gradually changed me, and i started to have more strength and confidence to love people, and willing to understand, and care about people more.
I am really really thankful for everything. I felt this really has been a good and eye-opening year. :] and the most important thing, I love japan ( i dont think this would ever came out from my mouth before, not like crazy love that is from Sabrina, but gentle and mild love from jesus)
Last few months of university life ! :)
Today was a tragic day.
I told Chris ( my pastor in Tokyo Baptist Church) that i cant see myself stay here after graduating, i even want to leave this country right now already.
He was really sad to see how harden my heart is, and how i have built up a wall towards japanese people, and i dont want to let the stereotypes go, and holds those bitterness towards tokyo tightly on hands, tightly grasp those pain as a part of my identity.
He said he was really sad to see my biased perspectives.
I can’t help, because for me personally, trying to say this city screwed up is way easier than desiring to see it change, even to see japanese people got saved. It is way much easier to say ” there is no hope in this country than wait to let Jesus inside me grow bigger and want to be a part of his glory.
i totally gave up on myself, because i know i am wicked, biased, and bittered, selfish, my ability to love people is really limited.
So i really need jesus, for only he has the power to change me, change my heart, give me renewal of each day.
It has been a while since my last tumblr post, cant believe spring is finally here, and sometimes it even feels like summer here in Tokyo.
I am definitely a summer type of person, i really love the feeling of wearing t-shirt all year long, and eat a lot of fruits everyday. Because of the good weather, i am able to wake up in a good mode and lie on my bed for five more minutes enjoy the sun light on my face, and imagined myself in some exotic tropical island. hahaaa !
To be honest, doing job hunting here for me is really like trying to train turtle fly in the sky, i really felt like it is impossible. But i have faith in God that the jesus lives inside me can get the work done, but if i try it so hard as Sabrina, darm, i tell you, it will never happen!! hahaaa !! i will move to mars directly right after graduated instead of training myself to fly, hahaa !!
But God has been a gracious God, because of him, life in Tokyo has been a blessing. God provides great church community and awesome flatmates with nice room, and i always able to charge myself and rest at home. God, thank you !!!
This is just simply a thank you letter to our Lord, thank Jesus for being my center, so i can go through ups and downs with him, not just react everything based on my own feelings and emotions. Thank you Jesus !!